17 Reasons Why Halloween Makes Me CRAZY

Have you ever asked yourself, why are we celebrating Halloween?

Halloween began two thousand years ago the Celtics celebrated the dead with a major festival called Samhain. The Celts believed that during Samhain, the ghosts of the dead mingles with the living, so they would leave their house with masks on to confuse the ghosts.  They sacrificed animals, fruits and vegetables.

The Christians felt that this Celtic tradition was “pagan” and so they transformed the holiday. They called it All Hallows’ Eve,  and the holiday became mostly about trick-or-treating.  But back in the old days, trick-or-treating on Halloween meant neighborhood vandalism as part of an old belief that if a homeowner did not bestow treats on the uninvited house guests, their home would may be trashed.   In the 1950′s with the development of American suburbs, Halloween and Trick-or-Treating was turned into a family-friendly affair.

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Today American consumers spend six billion dollars on Halloween each year, making it the second most commercial holiday after Christmas.

Despite great effort on my part to coerce the children to recycle one of the fifty costumes they have tucked away in the closet, I cannot pull it off.  Damnit they want to dress up as something different every year.  One year I tried to recycle leftover halloween candy from the previous year, but my husband wouldn’t let me.  So once again this year we ordered four cheap plastic costumes and huge bags of candy. My household definitely contributes to Halloween consumerism.

17 Reasons Why Halloween Makes Me Crazy

  1. Costco selling their costumes in August making my kids go batshit crazy wanting every costume they see two months before Halloween causing my husband to buy them costumes and then having to return them when they decide they want to be something else by the time October comes around.
  2. Buying the Halloween candy a month early and then I end up eating half over the course of a month.FullSizeRender
  3. Halloween parties where adults are forced to dress up.
  4. My kids insisting that Halloween TV shows and haunted houses aren’t scary for them, but then waking me up every night with nightmares.
  5. Talking about what they want to be for Halloween ALL YEAR LONG.
  6. Wanting to dress in their costumes every day for an entire month.
  7. My own Halloween decorations startling me.FullSizeRender
  8. The stress of getting everyone in their costume and out the door on time on Halloween night.
  9. Teenage trick-or-treaters ringing my doorbell at 9pm.
  10. Razor blades in apples (did that ever really happen?)
  11. Losing kids while trick-or-treating (that really DID happen).
  12. Poor innocent babies being dressed up and taken trick-or-treating.022
  13. It’s cold outside and I never knew a baby who wanted to wear that ridiculously oversized, itchy costume. Nor do babies eat candy.011
  14. Apple bobbing is a Halloween tradition. If you have ever seen kids bobbing for apples (with spit and snot flying into the water), you will never stick your head in that water to bob for apples again.
  15. Carving pumpkins is supposed to be a fun kid activity but the kids never want to scoop the pumpkin guts out and they are not safe trying to carve designs into a pumpkin with a pumpkin carving knife.  So guess who really carves pumpkins?  Yep, the parents.
  16. Spending a week after Halloween trying to get rid of the excess amount of candy.
  17. Spending a week after Halloween sneaking into my kids’ room while they are sleeping to steal their candy for personal consumption.

In my house, Halloween reigns supreme in the hierarchy of holidays. I will admit that seeing the kids all joyful and cute in their Halloween costumes is endearing. Halloween candy and treats like caramel apples and caramel corn are delicious.  Taking the kids with their cousins to pick their own pumpkin out at the same pumpkin farm I used to go is precious. It almost makes me like Halloween.  But not quite.

Because I have children and am a slave to them, I will continue to buy costumes and candy way too early.   I will get my hands slimy by scooping those stinking guts out of the pumpkins. I will scare myself with my own Halloween decorations and sneak my children’s candy in the middle of the night.

But, I will probably not go to your adult Halloween party with my husband dressed as adult babies or the peanut butter and jelly sandwich couple costume. No invitations necessary.

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I am fun, I promise. Just not Halloween fun.PBJ costume

Until next time, the mothership is signing off.

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