I could not sleep last night. My tolerance for ultra depressing movies has wained since having my own kids. The movie was called Boy, Interrupted and it was a documentary about a 15-year old boy who committed suicide. It was particularly haunting because the movie was done by this boy’s mother and father who are filmmakers and took us on a journey of this boy’s intense suffering with bipolar depression. This boy talked very matter of fact from a very early age about how he wanted to kill himself and he eventually succeeded at the very young age of 15. As a mom I cannot even begin to imagine the suffering this family went through trying to manage this boy’s depression and keep him from harming himself. I just kept thinking about my kids and worrying about them and wishing that they never suffer like this kid suffered. It was a good documentary though, even if it did keep me up way past my bedtime.
Today Ava started Kindergarten and we were all very excited. She took a nice long bath, got her pretty dress on and then I fixed her hair in a braid. I have been waiting for this day for a long time; Ava is ready for Kindergarten and I am ready for her to go also. Auntie and Ronin came to send Ava off and wish her a fun first day as a big Kindergartner. As ready as I was, the strangest thing happened to me after Chris and I dropped her off. As we peaked through the window I saw Ava quietly reading her book on the ground and I became overwhelmed with emotions. I felt my eyes start to water and then my mom came to greet Ava and I burst into tears. My mom held me like I was a baby as I sobbed. I honestly would’ve never in a million years thought I would have been one of those moms who cries when they drop their kid off at their first day of school. In fact, I scoffed at those moms in years past, joking that I was going to party and celebrate the day I dropped Ava off for Kindergarten. I guess I just felt like where the hell did those five years go and that elementary school is such a big milestone for my baby. My mom consoled me and told me that she did the same thing when she dropped me off for my first day of Kindergarten.
Chris captured the pathetic display on camera for all of us to remember forever; the day that Ava did just fine on her first day of Kindergarten but I didn’t. As Ava would say, hmff.
The babies are doing so great. They are such a pleasure. We took all of the kids to the mall yesterday because on hot days it is a great place to let the kids run loose in the two play areas they have built. There is also a merry go round at the mall, and for the bargain of $12 all the kids get a one minute whirl around in a circle on the animal of their choice. I decided that it looked pretty fun and instead of standing by the kids holding them on their horse, I would hop on the tiger and catch myself a fun ride. That lasted for half a rotation before the 16 year old merry go round attendant scolded me and told me to get off the ride and make sure my children do not fall off their animals. Hmff again. Can’t a mom get a cheap thrill once in awhile I ask?
So the babies let lose in these little play areas that are made entirely of rubber. It is really
good for them because they climb up rubber mountains and slide down and run around free bumping into all the other little kids playing also. For some reason all the other kids were very interested in groping the babies this day. These boys were coming up to them and rubbing their heads and faces and interfering in their personal space. Well, this was just not acceptable to big sister Ava, the intimidator (not a word). She would literally see these kids groping one of the babies and walk up and stand over them with her hands on her hips and a scowl on her face. It scared me. At one point I told one of the kids he better just back away because he doesn’t want to tangle with the crazy red head. I must say it does give me piece of mind to see Ava watching over the babies and protecting them. At one point she said, “mom, Elsa!” as Elsa was making her way out of the play area and into Sears. It is difficult watching four kids at the same time. We lost track of Elsa at one point in the day and I saw that she had climbed up on a bench and was enjoying the ice from some body’s cup that they left behind. Gross. Chris and I didn’t mention or want to talk about that again. . . ever.
There is more to say but because I am exhausted from subjecting myself to depressing television viewing rendering me unable to sleep for a long time, I must adjourn to bed.
Until next time, the mothership is signing off.