I wanted to throw up or at least hide under the bed with the covers pulled over my head but I couldn’t do either because I am a mom and mom’s have to do gross things all the time. But this took the cake.
Chris took Ava to the GI doctor yesterday morning to check and make sure she doesn’t have any problems in her belly or intestines. She seems to get stomach aches a lot, and has a lot of gas in her belly all the time causing bloating, etc. Ava endured getting 8 vials of blood taken out of her arm and an x-ray. She went to the blood draw kicking and screaming but once she saw the blood leaving she was fascinated and at peace. Strange child. And then getting an x-ray was just about the best thing that could’ve happened in her week. She LOVES and is intrigued by the x-ray. The x-ray showed tons of gas on one side of her body and tons of poop on the other. The doctor said this was too much gas and sent Chris home with series of fecal sample tests.
So, today while I was at Nordstrom picking up some new jeans with my sister I got a text from Laura. It said “Ava pooped in the bowl. I put it in the laundry room sink so the babies don’t get it . . . that would not be good.” My mind immediately wandered to the triplets with their hands elbow deep in the poop, playing and laughing with delight. And then I realized what I had to do when I got home. Wait a minute! Chris said he would do the poop but he is out of town tonight. How unfair. What great timing on his part.
So I got home and Preston was crying very dramatically for me to hold him so I had to hold him. Then I had to go deal with the poop. I couldn’t put Preston down because he needed me really badly at that very moment. So I said to him, lets go do the poop Pres. With one arm holding Preston and one hand holding the wooden stick, I went in. I was required to scoop some poop from the bowl, smear it two different places on the sample area and then close it up. During this process two bad things happened since I was holding Preston and trying to collect poop samples: one, while I wasn’t looking Preston was using his pen to play in my one already placed poop sample; two, I dropped the poop sample poop side down on the ground. Sigh. It was a poopy start.
Then I needed to actually take chunks of poop and insert them in a liquid preservative. That is the part where I really wanted to throw up but I kept my cool. Preston and I did our job and moved on with our lives. Do I feel like a better mom for doing this hideous job? No, absolutely not. Will I have nightmares about poop? Probably.
I decided my reward for the poop experience was some fabulous new jeans and shirts that I bought myself at Nordstroms 1/2 yearly sale.
Now I am pooped.
Until next time, the mothership is signing off.