We have a new family member.  We are now a family of 8 including Chester the mouse and Sage the dog.  For a month we have had strange occurrences in our house. Unexplainable phenomenon.  Here is what we have observed:

1.  Deep holes in our avocados and bananas.  Peels discarded below the fruit basket.

2.  Hostile noises coming from the kitchen, belonging to nothing in plain sight

3.  Wooden vent slats bent and vents moved off their designated spots

Then it happened.  Something most disturbing. Chris opened a small drawer to his desk and what he found was a pile of dog food and what looked like mouse or rat droppings.  Upon further investigation, we noticed there was dog food stashed in the files and accompanying mouse shit.  There was mouse shit next to the file “Important Things”.  Chester has been living in Chris’ office, steeling dog food from Sage and snacking off my fruits for what appeared to be a long time.


We did a bit of sleuthing and found a loose outlet cover, providing a hole just large enough for Chester.  We screwed that back into place.  We would have duck taped the outlet as well for good measure, but all the duck tape had been used to tape up my parent’s car window after Preston had inadvertently thrown a rock right through it.

We had trapped the mouse somewhere in the office.  But where?  We heard Chester scurrying about the desk but he was quick and obviously intelligent for avoiding the human family for so long (or the human family is just clueless).  Chris made me open drawers because, although I do not in the least care for rodents, Chris dislikes them even more.  There were no mice in the drawers.

Chris found huge piles of mouse poop in all the drawers of the desk, as well as behind the bookcases. Then, Chris opened up the drawer that we had originally found mouse poop and dog food stashed, and there was Chester the mouse playing .  Chris squealed like a mouse and jumped back a few feet. We had found elusive Chester.

We found Chester but now we needed to catch him.

I went to yoga yesterday morning while Chris continued to clean up mouse poop.  Before class began I received a text from Chris and all it said was “disgusting.”

At the end of a very difficult class I was laying in Shivasana.  I was supposed to be thinking peaceful thoughts with a clear mind but all I could think about was the mouse living in our house.  It was during the 5 minutes in Shivasana that I named the mouse Chester.

Chester lost his life at 9pm last night.  I heard him getting electrocuted in the rodent killer contraption.  I regretted having to kill Chester but it was his life or our sanity.

RIP Chester.

Until next time, the mothership is signing off.


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Chester The Mouse

5 thoughts on “Chester The Mouse

  • January 21, 2013 at 2:51 pm

    Was it necessary to juice Chester? For family members of the now deceased, you may want to consider a more humane approach i.e. “relocating” them to the “Back 40.” In the meantime, I am setting up a memorial fund for Chester . . .

    • January 21, 2013 at 3:07 pm

      I’ll be sure those funds are appropriately allocated. . .

    • January 21, 2013 at 5:33 pm

      HAHAHAHAHA!! I am SO not coming to visit. I don’t do rodents. No no way. When I was in high school Mom walked through the door from the garage to the sideyard and there was a mouse or a rat or something else rodenty sitting on top of the door (I have no idea how). When she moved the door IT FELL ON HER. She came into the house screaming, and peeling off her clothes, which was at the same time hilarious and quite frightening. You may have zapped Chester, but he’s not alone. Nope. He has a big family. Like the Letvins.

      P.S. Dick’s comment – HILARIOUS!!

      • January 21, 2013 at 5:39 pm

        Kim – that is a disturbing story about your mom. I will now have to erase that from my brain. Gross. And yes, we have electrocuted one other mouse. There are more. Oy.


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