Nine years ago today I gave birth to this child:


She was pissed.  Turns out she had Meconium Aspiration Syndrome.  In layman’s terms, this means that I was in labor for so long that while she was waiting in my pelvic region to be birthed, she ingested a mixture of her own poop and amniotic fluid.

I was relieved to have her out even though there were rips and tears in undesirable places.

The top five things I remember from my first birthing experience, in chronological order:

1.  While in labor I watched my mother through the hospital window painstakingly cover her Porsche with its cover.

2.  My Anesthesiologist was young and new and good-looking.  It took him more than a 1/2 an hour to place the epidural in my spine.  By the time he got it in, everyone in the room was ready to pass out; nurses included.

3.  I was up at 6am, in the hospital by 7am and starving by 12pm. I was offered ice chips. That’s all I was authorized to eat. Ice chips. Around noon in the midst of my starvation, my mother and husband decided it would by okay to bring their big huge delicious burritos into my room and eat them right in front of me.

4.  Ava’s heart rate dropped many times while I was trying to push her out.  There was talk of an emergency C-section.  I looked my OBGYN in the eyes and I asked her if my baby was going to be okay and she looked me back in the eyes, hesitated for a second, and said yes.  I remember feeling like she was not confident in her answer.

5.  As Ava’s head crept through, the doctor said, “oh, it’s a red-head!” Then my mom and dad said, “just like Gordie!” (who was my grandpa) Then I got scared because I was expecting a toe-headed child and I didn’t know what to do about a red-head.

Since this day nine years ago, Ava has challenged us every day of our lives.  I do not mean this in an unkind way.  Ava challenges us on everything big and small. Much of it is good, healthy debate; the existence of god, evolution versus creationism, the holocaust, etc. On a day-to-day basis, Ava tries to convince of things like Life cereal really is a health food, and she has legitimate arguments to back her theories up.

Happy 9th birthday to a girl who knows what she wants and fights for what she believes in.  My life will never be boring again.

Until next time, the mothership is signing off.

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Top 5 Things I Remember About Birthing My First Child

One thought on “Top 5 Things I Remember About Birthing My First Child

  • April 10, 2014 at 10:52 pm

    Pretty! This was an extremely wonderful post. Thank you for
    providing this information.


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