To say that it has been a difficult month with my beautiful tween daughter is, well, a major understatement.  I will not subject the general public to the gruesome details about what it is like living with a girl child in the throws of adolescence. But I will say that being stuck in the middle childhood and adulthood is a confusing place to be.

You know, that place where they kind of need to wear a bra, but they kind of don’t.

They kind of need to use deodorant, but they kind of don’t.

They want to shave their legs, but they really don’t need to yet.

They know they should start thinking about taking better care of their hygience and caring about their appearance, but they just aren’t there yet.

They kind of know about adult things like sex, but they really don’t and they certainly don’t want to talk to their parents about it.

They want to experiment with swear words so they let a damn or a shit or a Jesus Christ slip every now and then, even though they know they shouldn’t.

That place where they want to be treated like an adult but they still act like a child most of the time.

They kind of hate that girl at school because she is the meanest person ever to walk the face of the planet earth, but the next day they kind of don’t. They are like totes best friends today.

They kind of hate their body, hair and face because it doesn’t look like their friends’ body, hair and face, but then sometimes they don’t really care about that much.

They kind of want to be grown-up and sit in their bed and listen to Taylor Swift belt out Shake It Off on Spotify through their headphones, but they also want to play hide and seek outside with their little brother and sister.

Their siblings are absolutely the most annoying human beings to ever be born and they wish to GAWD they were an only child, but they wouldn’t mind if once in awhile they got a snuggle from one of those siblings at bedtime.

Yes, tweens are invariably confused about life.  But mothers and fathers are just as confused.  What the hell is going on around here? I thought we were supposed to be leery of teenagers and the wrath of hellfire they bring to the household, but it turns out it is the tween that should be feared.  It is like when everyone told me beware of two-year-olds because they are absolutely the hardest age to deal with, only to get to three-years-old and find out it is worse.

I proceed upon each day with caution, fearing I may say or do the wrong thing that will land me in tween purgatory roasting over the hot flames of their unexpected wrath that hath no mercy.

So when my daughter presented me with an offering of what appeared to be outright peace and love, I proceeded with caution.  Was this a trap to reel me in her tangled web of emotions she weaves (there aren’t enough emoticons for the tweenage girl), or was it an olive branch?

I tried to contain my wonder and surprise at this unexpected show of affection, but I fear my deer in the headlights look may have been a dead giveaway.



My tween daughter loves me after all! She really does!  Not only a love letter telling me I am pretty swell, but also a Cold Stone Creamery and Target gift card from her own personal stash.

Tonight she loves me.  Tomorrow she will hate me again. Especially if she ever reads this post.

And so it goes living with a girl tween.

Until next time, the mothership is signing off.


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The Complex World of The Tweenage Girl
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13 thoughts on “The Complex World of The Tweenage Girl

  • March 12, 2015 at 8:21 am

    This is so true! Even though you hear these days are coming I don’t think you are ever truly prepared to see your precious little girls start to pull away from you. And I hear teens are even worse! It takes a village!

  • March 12, 2015 at 9:44 am

    She is a sweet girl with a heart of gold just like her mom 🙂 You’ll get through it!

  • March 12, 2015 at 11:13 am

    Tweenagers are kind of adorable. It is a (mostly) sweet transition from big kid to teenager. They want to grow up so fast. She sounds like a sweety.

  • March 12, 2015 at 11:58 am

    I need to bookmark this and read it again in a couple years! Thanks for sharing it! xoxo

  • March 12, 2015 at 12:36 pm

    Absolutely loved the blog. I guess I will have to stop thinking of all your kids being little kids. I told you you are good.

  • March 12, 2015 at 4:56 pm

    I now know that becoming a Grand Parent is reward for parenting a teenager…Add tweenager to that and wait a few years for your reward.

  • March 12, 2015 at 5:34 pm

    She recognizes that you are a great mother but to admit it? You’ve got to be kidding. Frame that and pull it out regularly over the next few years. I love that girl.

  • March 13, 2015 at 2:34 pm

    What a sweet note! My own littles are just that – little (2 and 4 months) but I teach 6th graders and I’d say they fall in the tween category!

  • March 14, 2015 at 11:22 am

    Yep. My 16 yo is still a child of extremes.

    Wolf (hubby) says, “I used to take her to the park and play on the slides. Now I just ride the mood swings.”

  • March 15, 2015 at 12:09 pm

    How sweet!!! We’ve got a little girl joining our family (due in June), and I’m already nervous about the tween years…

  • March 17, 2015 at 1:37 pm

    Awwww, you really are an exellent mother! 🙂 That just warms the heart. Enjoy her while she loves you today because as you know, that may change in the blink of an eye. Great job mom!

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